If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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