This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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