Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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