apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
