How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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