Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
