They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
