You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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