Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
