she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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