I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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