it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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