Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
