physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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