so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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