I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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