I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
