Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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