I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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