what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
