we have pet lesbian snakes
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
