im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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