Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize