I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
