North Korea, Best Korea!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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