he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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