did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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