Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
