I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
