Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
