We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
