And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
