You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
