the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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