you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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