sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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