You don't have asthma, your pregnant
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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