Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
