She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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