I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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