i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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