You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just googled if crying burns calories
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
