Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
