so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
