after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
