Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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