no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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