Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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