no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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