There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
