the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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