He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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