I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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