You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
