honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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