I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
