You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
