i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
