Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
